There have been many discoveries over this past year and I always find that with each new year and birthday celebration, the reflection process is always so much bigger, deeper and more insightful.
Each new year there is so much emotional unpacking that needs to be done. Whether it be with my relationships, my business, family and just life in general, there is always a new awakening, a new plateau, a new breakthrough (along with the breakdowns) and a new awareness.
As I sit and reflect, I’m reminded of the importance it is to acknowledge myself. Something I don’t do often enough. In fact, we are all guilty of it.
And so, along with acknowledgement, lots of self-love and reflection, there have been some deep insights I’ve gained this past year that I want to share.
I share this as a woman, an entrepreneur, a girlfriend and lover, a friend and a coach.
Perhaps these insights may help to guide you to more power and possibility as they have with myself. Perhaps these insights will awaken something within you that will encourage you to play a bigger game – full of love, success, abundance, fulfilment and satisfaction.
- Insight #1 – Overwhelm aka. my way of controlling the future – is an inability to be present. Something I do often. Something I do that allows me to play small, to hide out in fear and ultimately, makes me ineffective. Overcoming overwhelm is a work in progress and it’s not something I’ve perfected (nor will I). Now that I can recognize why I create it in the first place (fear), I can more easily pull myself out of it and move forward. In fact, in the past, my commitment to overwhelm was bigger than my commitment to my vision and future. Whoa – that right there is enough to wake me the f**k up! What are you more committed to?
- Insight #2 – Health – We may not have control over many things, but when it comes to our health and body, we get to choose what food goes on our fork. We get to choose how to care for our bodies. We get to choose to eat well, to eat organic, to workout and sweat. This is a choice and I am more clear how important it is that I take care of my body, health, hormones, sleep, stress, diet. It’s the foundation for everything.
- Insight #3 – Integrity – everything I say, do, act, it all comes from a place of integrity. How I show up in my relationship, in my business, with my clients and with myself all comes from integrity. It’s like taking out the stinky garbage on a daily basis. There’s a good chance you’re not going to leave it sitting there in your kitchen for weeks with it’s smelly odour are you? This is exactly like integrity. Constantly cleaning up the good, the bad and the ugly and working from a clean slate. Every.single.day there continues to be things to clean up – conversations, laundry, dishes, taxes, desk, sock drawer, playtime, slowing down, going to bed on time, self care, working out, eating well… you get the idea. This isn’t just something you ‘physically’ cleanup, but mentally and emotionally as well. These need to be cleaned up constantly and it’s an ever growing practice to stay consistent with it. You need to handle your out-of-integrities daily. As my coach always says::
“If you’re not getting results, check your integrity”
- Insight #4 – Joy & Happiness – isn’t something you wait for. Isn’t an amount of money. It’s not some fancy dress or a pair of shoes, or the boyfriend, or the job. It’s something you access now. In the moment. You create it. You cultivate it. It’s a choice.
- Insight #5 – Stand for the possibility of who people can BE – I’ve heard it before. The wife that wants to get healthy but their husband isn’t on board. And as a coach, I work with people daily who are so resistant to change, don’t want to work out, don’t want to cook healthy and ultimately want to take the easy way out (ie. eat fast food!). Yes it’s frustrating, but I just stand for the possibility of who they can BE. I know they can be stronger, more powerful, more confident, more loving, less fearful and more courageous. Over time and with consistent coaching, loving, nudging, pushing and probing, I start to break through these excuses and help them uncover who they really are. Does everyone get to this point? No. It takes time, commitment, openness, willingness and a lot of self-love. Most people aren’t willing to give this to themselves. But, I stand for them anyways.
- Insight #6 – Well-Being – I sacrificed this during my first year in business. Late nights, neglecting sleep, disorganized, random schedule, over working. Ultimately, I felt like shit, I was tired and I knew that this was not how I wanted to show up for people or myself. Can you achieve success faster by sacrificing these things?? Maybe. But that’s not what I want. When I reach my million dollar year I want to be the confident, sexy, happy, joyful, fit, calm, feminine Samantha, not the fat, frumpy and frazzled Samantha. I don’t need to sacrifice myself (and all the things that matter to me in my life) for my business or success (can you see what I mean by out-of-integrity?). Where are you sacrificing yourself currently in your life? Where in your life are you pushing to get a result, versus letting it flow?
- Insight #7 – It’s Never About the Money – After consulting and coaching with thousands of people over the past 12 years, what I’ve realized is that people are more committed to their current circumstance and not their future. They don’t value themselves, so they don’t invest in themselves. When people get committed, they get the money. Committing to yourself means you have self worth, and that’s a hard pill for many to swallow.
- Insight #8 – Love or Fear – we either come from love or we come from fear. Fear is tied up in your excuses about time, money and relationships, as well as in frustration, overwhelm, lack, worry and doubt. Love is solid. Grounded. Rooted. It’s full of faith. In yourself, in your future and in the universe. Fear pushes, love pulls. Fear is our default state. It’s just so easy to fall back on. Let’s try falling forward instead, shall we? And if we happen to fall back, let it be on faith.
- Insight #9 – Be, Do, Have – In the past, I used to think that once I had the money/job/success/boyfriend/house, then I could do all the things I want and then I’ll be happy. I’ve learned it doesn’t work that way. BEING happy, calm, present, joyful, confident NOW, means I can do all the things I want (and come from a truly authentic place) and then I can have all the ‘things.’ Are you functioning from Have, Do, Be vs. Be, Do, Have? If so, it’s time to step into BEING and open yourself up to more power and possibility. It’s the BEING that gives you these things, NOT the doing.
- Insight #10 – More Work = Less Living– Growing a business, saving money, working hard – I am all for these things. And have there been things I’ve sacrificed in my life to grow my business? Of course. And there will continue to be sacrifices. But I will not sacrifice my body, health, relationships, time, freedom, love and joy in order to get results. Remember, fear pushes, love pulls. My fear told me to work more and do more and that did not equal more money or more results. But when I slowed down, worked less, became more efficient with my time, cultivated time for joy, play and fun, the money and results showed up. In fact, it was effortless.
On my birthday, the biggest gift I could ask for is to see YOU step more into your power and to commit to your future.
What does your future self look like? What do they do? How are they being?
Embody that. Go be that. Go do that. Start to live in your truth so that you can empower those around you to live in theirs.